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endo-bunny · 8 months ago

Text

His Light in the Darkness

Summary: When Joel finds love ten years into the apocalypse and has a daughter with that woman two years later, he has to deal with the death of his beloved. He had to deal with a child that he doesn’t want, the child that took his whole world. That was, until a couple months after your birth. Now you will have to go with your father, Joel, and “The Cargo,�� Ellie. As you go through this traumatizing yet exciting new adventure, you will have to learn a lot of things if you wish to survive in this world.

Paring: Joel x daughter!reader

Series Warnings:Mentions of violence, using both the game lore and show lore, Tess being a mother figure to reader, reader is eight years old, attempted SA, attempted kidnapping, kidnapping, slaves, death, dialogue and actions/scenes not being exactly the same or close to original, nicknames for reader(Little Light, honey, sweetie, baby girl), anxiety attacks, anxiety alluded to but not specified, symptoms of ptsd but not specified, reader is Joel's biological daughter, mother’s looks not specified, reader is a child so she will cry a lot (please don’t complain about this) this is normal for children

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of violence, using both the game lore and show lore, Tess being a mother figure to reader, reader is eight years old, panic attack

Word Count: 3,465

******

Chapter 1 - The Light at the End of the Tunnel

Winter 2015

Cries were what filled the room. A female that looked to be in her mid thirties was laid out on a worn down mattress. In her arms was a baby, the one that was producing those beautiful sounds. Her breaths were shallow, hands bloody as her eyes met those of her lover. There beside her was Joel. He stared lovingly at the woman, your mother. She taught him how to love again, and you were also someone that was going to help teach him how to love once more in the future. The woman had already known there was a chance of not surviving through childbirth. Hell, they were living in the fucking apocalypse. They didn’t have the same materials and medical help or equipment that they had twelve years ago.

She felt weak, she wasn’t gaining any strength back. She had children before the outbreak but upon outbreak day and thereafter, they had died in front of her eyes. That was one of the many things that the two lovers confided in and shared with each other. Her other births had been similar to this birth; but her other times were much different when it came to the time after giving birth. She wasn’t gaining any strength back like she usually would, she was only losing it. She could feel her heart that had previously been pounding in her chest slowly start to slow down to an alarmingly slow speed. Her breaths that had previously been easier to have were quickly becoming harder and harder to inhale.

With just one look, Joel knew what she was about to tell him. This couldn’t be happening. He couldn’t lose his lover; his light in the dark. Tears flooded his eyes, racing down his face shortly after. He choked out a sob. As carefully as he could, he gingerly held her in his arms. They stayed like that for hours, even after she had taken her final breath. She had been able to breastfeed their child with the help of Joel.

As he continued to lay there, your mother still in his arms, the door was quietly opened. Tess stepped in, grief upon her face at seeing Joel with his deceased lover. She walked over, getting close enough to touch Joel’s shoulder. His eyes snapped up to meet hers. This was the most vulnerability that Joel has ever shown Tess. She saw how much pain he was in, and she couldn’t do anything to help him. He muttered something to her after he calmed down a little.

“Take the baby, I don’t want the thing that took away the love of my life.”

She was shocked to say the least. She never thought that he would ever say anything such as that. He always seemed so happy when talk of the two’s unborn child was brought up. As Tess sighed, she lightly shook her head side to side, rejecting his request; or rather demand. She couldn’t do that. He looked angry, more than angry. He was extremely pissed to say the least. He snarled at her, even more so when she started to talk about burying your mother. The rest of it all was just a blur in his mind. He blocked everything else. He didn’t want to deal with anything else, especially you.

A couple months passed by, Joel hating every moment of it. On one surprisingly warmer day, his view towards you was swiftly changed. He had put you down on the couch, not fully caring if you fell or not. It didn’t feel like it was his responsibility. He was looking over everything that he would need for his and Tess’ next run. Something in him caused him to turn his gaze towards you. There you were, smiling over at him as if he was the greatest thing in the entire universe. In a sense, he was, to you.

Once you saw that his gaze had turned towards you, you erupted into a fit of adorable little giggles. He had never heard that beautiful sound come from your tiny body. The moment he heard it, he was immediately transported to the first time he heard that same noise come from Sarah.

Right then and there, he knew how disappointed and angry Sarah and your mother would have been at him. He was beyond ashamed of how he acted and treated you. You were his daughter, he was your father, he was supposed to love and protect you. He knew then that he needed to change the person that he was, but only for you. He wasn’t going to allow himself to be any different towards anyone else, he couldn’t trust anyone else in this newer world. As for now, for the first time since your mothers death, he picked you up lovingly and smiled.

“Hi, my Little Light. Daddy’s here now.”

******

Autumn 2023

Giggles erupted from you as you played with your toys; your fathers warning to not make any noise while he wasn’t there escaping your mind. All noises stopped however once you heard the front door open, close, and then voices. All you could hear was your fathers voice before you were sprinting out to him, jumping into his arms that weren’t ready to catch you.

“Daddy!”

He huffed, trying to keep you from falling out of his arms. He looked at you with love in his eyes, but he still had his mask up due to the fact that there was a teenage girl being present.The teenager looked surprised to see this man that has been nothing but cold and rude to her, be so loving and even have a child. You finally looked at her curiosity in your eyes.

“Who’s she Daddy?”

Joel cursed under his breath, “She’s no one, just some cargo,” He had hoped that you would simply just accept that she was there for a tiny bit and then just never bring her up ever.

The teen scoffed at him, “Hi there?” Her voice seemed on edge, “I’m Ellie, the cargo.”

You giggled at her, finding the new girl funny.

“Go and stay in your room baby girl, I’m gonna stay out here, ok?”

You nodded your head, perfectly fine with going back to playing with your toys.

Thirty minutes passed, Ellie snooping through Joel's stuff the entire time. She froze though when she heard a door down the hall open. You padded down the hall, trying to be as stealthy as possible, failing however seeing as you are just eight years old and not fully aware of your surroundings. Once you reached the living room, you jumped. Looking around you saw Ellie looking at you. She also jumped, not expecting your reaction. Seeing her jump causes you to giggle, and while she is weary of you, she does find it a little cute.

“What are you doing? Didn’t the old man tell you to stay back there?”

She honestly didn’t fully care what you were doing but she was still at least a little curious.

You stared at her while your child brain worked to try and think of something, “Nothing?”

Before she could say anything else, you ran over to her. You came up to about her waist, a little lower. You’ve heard Joel and Tess talk about how you’re small for your age. They summed it up to being that you weren’t getting the right nutrients and needed to eat a little more vegetables and meat.

“Why did Daddy say that you’re cargo?”

“‘Cause he’s taking me somewhere,” She sounded grumpy and slightly irritated.

“Who are you?” Ellie was quick to ask you a question of her own.

Telling her your name, you looked down at what she was holding

In her hands were dog tags. You looked back up towards her with a perplexed gaze set in your eyes. She looked down at her hands, having completely forgotten that she was holding them.

“Oh, those are mine.”

“Are you a Firefly?”

Your question caught her really off guard. She had no idea that someone who seems as young as you would know anything about the Firefly’s.

“Uh, no, but someone that I loved was.”

You know by the tone in her voice and the look in her eyes that it was time to shut up. You walked over to your father and sat down on the ground. She watched you before returning to whatever she had been doing. You zoned her out as you found some of the crayons that you had left on the coffee table. Joel had found that he could melt down some of the broken crayons and make new ones.

You made multiple drawings, knowing that all of them would end up on something in the apartment. You looked up once you zoned back into reality. It was dark out and Joel was still asleep. Giggling quietly to yourself, you climbed onto the couch and hopped onto his chest. He jumped awake. Both from you and the nightmare that he had.

“Did you know that you talk in your sleep?”

Ellie was looking at something in your hands. Your dad picked you up and sat you down on the couch. As he sat up, he started to say but you found the fraying threads of the couch much more interesting. Although it became much less intriguing once you heard a certain someone’s voice. Tess walked in through the door, saying something to Joel and Ellie. You looked up at her, quickly getting up to go to her.

“Mama!” You somewhat calmly walked over to her, unlike how you did earlier to Joel.

She greeted you and then looked at Joel.

“Can I talk to you in the other room?”

He looked hesitant towards you before nodding, going to his room. Ellie looked at you curiously, as well as you. Once the door closed, you both turned your gazes to each other.

“So, was that your mom?”

“Not really, I just call her Mama. Daddy told me that my real mama was in a better place and that I would never be able to see her again, but that she loved me. What about you?”

“Yeah, same I guess.”

You smile brightly at the older girl. Right once you opened your mouth, beginning to say something, Tess and Joel walked back in. Joel is quick to pick you up and get you away from Ellie. As you got comfy in his large arms, resting your head against his warm chest, your eyes dropped shut.

The next time that you open your eyes, you’re strapped to your fathers chest. As you start to wake up, you realize that you're not in your home anymore. Were you outside? There weren’t any normal buildings around. Your question was soon answered when you heard guards talking. You were immediately thrown into a frenzy when someone started yelling at your group.

The next thing you know, your father is taking you out of the holder and setting you down directly next to him. Tears were streaming down your face as you frantically grasp onto his pants leg. Everyone’s kneeling and the guard is saying something. Everything happens so fast, your dad is suddenly beating the guard, Tess is grabbing the tester, and Ellie moves in front of you.

You're still crying as all the commotion settles down. You look up at Ellie, who is now sitting next to you with a panicked look on her now dirtier face. She was also looking up. As you reach out for her, wanting to be held to help calm you down, Tess is quick to step in.

“Get away from her.”

You look alarmed, confused why you couldn’t be near her. As you try to understand what's going on, Joel quickly scoops you up, getting away from Ellie just as fast. Tess has something in her hand that you can’t see very well. Tears are still falling from your now red and puffy eyes as your dad curses in frustration.

“Why are you so mad at her, Daddy?” Your small hands grasped onto his shirt, tugging slightly.

Everyone stopped at the sound of your small voice, realization that you were with them sinking into Joel and Tess’ minds. The reality of this situation was making itself loud and clear. Your question goes unanswered as the talking continues on. You were scared, you didn’t know what was going on and everything was terrifying. You just wanted to be at home, safe and sound, being held tightly under a blanket in your fathers arms.

Your breathing starts to quicken as it feels like you're losing control over your own body. Fresh tears sprout from your eyes and your heart is pounding in your ears. Were you dying? You didn’t want to die like this, not now. It felt like you couldn’t breathe. You weakly clutch at your chest as your throat closes up, small whimpers leaving the confines of your overworked lungs. Your tiny body was trembling, beginning to feel very hot in your own skin. Sweat collected on your forehead. Joel noticed very quickly what was happening.

“Hey, baby girl, breathe. You're okay. Look at me baby,” His hand guided your face to look towards him.

He talked you through it, although a lot of it sounded like you were underwater. Once you finally were back, panic attack taken care of to the best of their abilities, you noticed that it seemed like the problem from earlier was completely taken care of. You couldn’t tell when it was taken care of but it was.

Joel seemed to be in a bitterer mood than he was earlier. You stayed quiet, opting to just look around at everything since you had nothing else to do except sit there attached to your fathers chest. As you continued to walk, going somewhere but you didn’t know where, you finally arrived at a new area. It seemed to be a very rocky place. You couldn’t tell if it was a building or not, but it looked similar to one.

You father was the first to go in, holding you tight against his chest despite the fact that you were already tightly strapped to his chest. He looked around a little, making sure that the coast was clear, before telling Tess and Ellie to come in. They soon follow in after him, Tess’ immediate move is to look at you then around the place. As the four of you make your way through the building, the air seems to get tenser, as if something bad was about to happen. That feeling was proven right when Joel and you split up from Tess and Ellie. Your head was covered by the strap, Joel having done that the moment he sensed danger. You could barely move around, all you could do was listen to what was going on around you. You heard growling and your dad grunting every so often. At one point, you get jostled around a little more than normal, a muffled cry coming from your mouth. Joel is quick to put his hand on your back before taking his hand away. You hear a struggle going on before your father and Tess’ voices once again.

As your father uncovers your head, you can finally see once more. There's bodies of the infected all around, and your father is breathing heavily. You don’t get to look around much more before Joel is quickly walking again, trying to get this whole thing done and over with as fast as possible. You’re confused as to what was happening, and it seemed that Ellie seemed to be as well. The two adults however ignored your confused and concerned faces as the supposedly short journey continued on.

******

The trip was much more boring than you had expected. You were finally arriving at the building where Ellie was supposed to be dropped off at, but it seemed to be a little quiet. Joel went into protect mode almost immediately once he realized that something wasn’t right.

As he cautiously looked around, he found that everyone that should've been there was dead. He covered your eyes so that you wouldn’t have to see all of it, trying to keep you safe from the horrors of this world as much as he could. As everyone is looking around, Tess starts talking about where to go next.

“What the hell do you mean? The jobs finished, it’s time to go home,” Joel's ruff voice cuts Tess off mid sentence.

“I mean that I can’t go home,” Tess’ usually strong voice wavers as her eyes land on you.

Ellie gasps, understanding what the older woman meant. Tess pulled the neck of her shirt down to reveal a horrible looking bite. Joel didn’t know how to react, he didn’t want to believe that Tess was bitten. You didn’t understand what was going on, so you tried tugging on your fathers shirt in order to get his attention. He didn’t even look at you, just put his hand on your back.

“You have to get her to Tommy,” Tess goes over to Ellie and grips her arm, showing Joel the bite mark that Ellie had shown them earlier, “She has to be telling the truth. Look at this, this is only a few hours old and it’s already horrible,” She pulls down her own shirt collar once again while talking to further prove her point. Before Joel could respond, groaning and screeching could be heard outside. Tess rushed over to one of the boarded up windows, looking out of it to see outside.

“Get out of here, there's a hoard of those fuckers coming here,” Tess began rustling through her bag, looking for specific items.

She pulled a small object out of a little, purple bag that seemed to still be in good condition. Joel’s breath hitched the moment he realized what the bag was. Tess walked over to you, the small object and bag in her hands.

“Sweetheart, I may not be your real mother but I love you like you're my blood daughter. I’m going to have to go away for a very long time and I want you to have these,” She put the small object in your hand, “Look after your father for me, you’re His Light in the Darkness.”

As you looked at it, you saw that it was a locket. You opened it with confusion, having a little difficulty. Inside the locket were two pictures. One was a picture of your mother, father and Tess all together. Your mother was holding the camera, her arm outstretched as she smiled brightly at the camera. Joel was hugging her, a wide smile outstretched on his face as he looked at her, ignoring the camera. Tess had her hand on her gun, seeming to be on alert, but she still had a warm smile on as she stared at the camera. The second picture was one of your father and mother. Joel had his arm around your mother as she had both of hers on his chest, seeming to be laughing at something. They were in a room that looked similar to the room that your father slept in now, but some of the furniture wasn’t as it was now.

“Daddy look! It’s Mommy!” Your excited voice came out a little too loud as the sounds of groaning and clicking came closer.

Everyone else's eyes went wide upon hearing what was waiting for them outside. Tess quickly began pouring gasoline all over everything in the room, trying to make sure that everything was covered.

“Joel go! Get them out of here, take the girl to Tommy. I’ll lure them in here, then take the building with me,” Her eyes were filled to the brim with tears as she looked at the little girl that she helped raise, knowing that she'd be leaving her.

“Mama? What's happening?”

She couldn't bring herself to tell you. She walked over and kissed the top of your head before handing Joel her backpack. She gave him a silent look before Joel grabbed Ellie to leave. You were crying now, not understanding what was happening and not wanting to leave Tess. Noises could be heard behind you as Joel quickly got out of the building despite Ellies struggles to get out of his grip.

All of a sudden, a loud boom came from behind the three of you. The building exploded. You continued to cry, the commotion overwhelming you. Joel did his best to consol you with what little energy that he had left. As you started to get brought back down to earth, your eyes became increasingly heavier by the second. Joel covered your head as you laid it on his chest, sleep beginning to take you after the exhausting day.

******

Tag list:

@fakegingerrights

@silnebula

I really hope that you liked this! It took a lot of energy for me to actually make this because I've been really procrastinating. I'm currently also working on my other Tech x Reader series but I have no idea when that will be. I'm also working on chapter two for this one. I might also do some romantic one shots for Joel because I love him so much.

@macchiato-dreaming22

#joel miller x daughter!reader #tlou joel #the last of us #joel miller angst #joel miller fluff #joel miller x platonic!reader #tess fluff #tlou tess #tlou tess angst #ellie fluff #ellie tlou #His light in the darkness

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messrmoonyy · 1 year ago

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Pretty little thing

Tess Servopoulos x Fem!reader

Prompt- based on a dark tess request that I lost the original prompt of but was along the lines of older Ellie and reader being friends and reader getting a crush on Tess, trying to make Tess reciprocate things until she finally gives in and fucks the reader including Dacryphilia , overstimulation, overall a more mean Tess. This also includes various other small requests that a mashed into this including face sitting and more Jackson Tess.

A/N- will say this isn’t very ‘dark!tess ‘ but you guys also requests a meaner/ rougher smut scene with Tess. So. You got it. I think. Prawn with plot. Enjoy

Warnings- 18+ || reader is a littlleeee obsessed, Tess is kinda mean. And patronising, canon compliment violence and discussions of infected, implied age gap, smut: fingering ( reader receiving ), overstimulation, degradation, dacryphillia, dumbification, choking, face sitting/ oral ( reader receiving), orgasm denial

Word count- 12.7k ( I am so sorry💀 my next one will be shorter I promise 😭)

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Reblogs and comments appreciated and encouraged! <3

You were woken up to the sound of knocking. At first you weren’t entirely sure if you were hearing it or if it was something in your dream. That kind of far off, echoey sound to it where you were only half awake and still coming to terms with being back in the real world again. But it was real. When you fully opened your eyes the sound continued.

As your eyes adjusted to the dimly lit room you first noticed you weren’t at home, your sleep disorientated brain failing to tell you exactly where you were right away. But you knew it wasn’t your home.

The knocking continued and you remembered that was why you had woken up in the first place.

“ I’m not going anywhere so open up or I’ll just come in and Joel will be pissed if he has to fix this lock again “ came a muffled voice from behind the door, an incredibly bored tone to their words. You sat up and winced as your neck ached from the funny angle you’d fallen asleep in, tired eyes adjusting to your surroundings “ I know you’re both in there one of you better open this door in the next ten seconds “

You were at Ellie’s. Sat on the floor, clearly having fallen asleep with your head lolled backwards onto the couch. The knocking continued, making you realise just how much your head was hurting. Your tired mind attempted to piece together the night before.

Drinks with Ellie. Then Dina, then Jesse.

Jesse and Dina were no longer there but Ellie was sprawled face down on the couch, snoring quite contently, clearly not even shifting at the sound of whoever was at the door. You groaned again and got to your feet as the knocking continued “ 5. 4- “

“ alright. I’m coming. Fuck “ you rubbed at your tired eyes and sighed. You didn’t even know why you felt so shitty. You’d barely even drank that much. Maybe it was lack of sleep and the absolute neck breaking angle you had somehow passed out in.

You crossed the room and cracked the door open, wincing away from the early morning light and squinting to adjust your eyes and focus on the blurry figure in front of you.

“ well hello sleeping fuckin beauty “ you were suddenly wide awake as you realised who was stood there. Arms folded and eyebrow raised as she eyed your post sleep look. You must have looked a mess. Bedraggled hair and eyes barely open, still wearing the clothes you’d been wearing the day before, but now with an odd stain on the front of your shirt that you weren’t entirely sure of the origin of.

“ oh. Tess “ she craned her head to look inside and rolled her eyes at the sight of Ellie passed out still, now mouth agape and drooling onto the cushions.

“ it’s your lucky day. You’ve been moved to pairs patrols. Get dressed. Meet me at the stables in 10. And tell Ellie she’s due out in a couple of hours too. So wake her ass up “ you tried your best to process the information as she turned and started to walk away

“ I- huh? I only do group patrols “

“ don’t make me come back and get you! “ she called as she continued to walk, not even answering your question. You closed the door and started to wake up fully, internally screaming at yourself for having stood there in front of her looking like… well. That.

Though you’d guessed she’d probably seen you worse. She’d been there the day Jesse had decided making his own moonshine was a good idea. In fact she’d been the one holding your hair back as you’d puked up said moonshine in her bathroom, rubbing soft circles into your back as you begged her not to tell Maria about it. She never had to your surprise.

You walked over to where Ellie was still dead to the world, not even having moved an inch at the sound of Tess and her knocking.

“ El. Ellie. Elliieeee. Dude come on “ you sighed, nudging at her with your knee “ Ellie. Ellie! “ she startled so suddenly she rolled off the couch, face first onto the floor.

“ what the fuck man! “ she grabbed a cushion and tossed it at you, missing completely and knocking over something on her desk instead.

“ Tess was here. I’m on patrol in 10. You’re out soon too she told me to wake you up. So. Now you’re up “ she muttered something under her breath and slowly pushed her way back up onto the couch, tipping her head back and closing her eyes again

“ my head hurts “ she groaned, throwing an arm over her eyes “ were Jesse and Dina here last night or did I make that up? “

“ no. They were here. In fact it was Jesses idea to play that stupid drinking game “ you still weren’t entirely sure on the rules and you’d damn played it. Though you did get the idea that Jesse seemed to be making them up on the spot anyway “ can I borrow a shirt? I won’t make it back to mine and to the stables in 10. And I don’t want Tess to be angry with me “

You didn’t wait for her to answer you, knowing she’d say yes anyway, and rummaged through her drawers for something clean to wear. You figured your jeans from yesterday would be fine and even though Tess had already seen you in the questionable stain shirt. You did not want her to see you in it again.

“ Tess? “

“ yeah. I just told you she was here. She said I’m on pairs patrols now “

“ that’s good. Isn’t that what you wanted? Maybe they paired you with her. That’s why she came to get you “ you could only hope. The entire reason you’d asked to be on pairs patrols in the first place was so that you could possible be partnered up with her. Though the chances were a little slim. She almost always went out with Joel.

“ she goes out with Joel “

“ Tommys back on patrols now. I bet he’s going with Joel. Ease him back into it “ Tommy had been out of rotation for a few months, taking time to help out Maria with the new baby. It couldn’t of been easy they already had one young kid, Maria definitely needed his help. You helped her out from time to time, but she had entrusted you with other things around town in her absence. Not entirely important things, you did get the feeling she was trying to make you feel needed. But it was whatever. You were happy to help.

It would make sense to pair Tommy up with Joel if he was back in rotation now. Pair him with someone he knew well, who was strong and capable, just in case he was a little rusty after a few months out.

So maybe Tess was missing a partner now. And pairing a newbie to pairs up with someone like her, someone who knew what they were doing and could do the trails with their eyes closed, would make a lot of sense.

You finished getting changed and grabbed your backpack from by the door, eager to leave even with your post sleep grogginess still clouding your head. You didn’t want to keep Tess waiting.

Ellie had flopped herself into bed now instead of the couch and you left her to it, your goodbye falling on deaf ears as she fell back into sleep again.

As you walked towards the stables the early morning air cleared your head a little and you finally were able to process what the day had in store for you. You’d been asking to be moved to pairs patrols for a while. You’d been on patrols since the day you’d hit 16 and been allowed out in the groups. You knew the regular group routes like the back of your hand, could take down infected better than some of the others could. So you had years of experience behind you now. You had truly solidified your spot on the roster.

But to your dismay. Tess was never on groups. She was always on pairs.

So you’d started talking to Maria and asking for pairs patrols. With the soul intention of being paired with Tess. Not that you’d thought it would happen. But it was always worth a shot, right? Maria was like a second mother to you, she’d taken you under her wing when your mother had taken ill and died a few years back. They’d been close since they were kids so you guessed Maria felt obliged.

So you knew in the end you’d bring her round to make her put you on pairs. And you did have the slightest of suspicions she knew why you wanted to be on pairs.

She gave you looks from time to time when she saw you both together. You did guess you weren’t exactly subtle with it.

How on earth you were supposed to survive a few hours completely alone with her? Even if that was what you’d been hoping for ever since you’d first met her. When that silly schoolgirl crush had first reared it’s head when she, Joel and Ellie had turned up in Jackson. It had only gotten stronger as you got closer to Ellie, spent more time with the three of them. You were a couple years older than Ellie but she’d stuck to you like glue almost immediately. She didn’t really seem to want to talk to anyone when she first arrived but you clearly had something going for you, cause she’d wanted to talk to you.

And you weren’t apposed to that. You loved Ellie. And it meant you got the added benefit of spending time with Tess. So what was there to dislike?

You’d gotten a little braver as you’d spent more time with Ellie over the years, finding excuses to sit close to Tess whenever you’d hang out with the family. Convincing her to dance with you at the parties Maria and Tommy threw in the tipsy bison from time to time, letting your hands wander a little too much but blaming it on the alcohol. When half of the time you hadn’t even drank a drop.

You’d practically thrown yourself at her multiple times over the years but she never quite reciprocated. But there was… something. The way she never actively stopped you immediately, would simply give you a look. Or tell you to be careful in a low tone that made butterflies swarm in your stomach.

You still thought about the last party Maria threw, when you’d made her dance with you and her face had been so incredibly close to your own. The tension between you had been so thick it was like no one else was even in the room with you, she swarmed every single one of your senses.

You’d thought she was going to kiss you that night. If only you’d had the guts to close the minuscule gap maybe she would’ve. But instead she’d dropped a light kiss to your cheek, dropped her mouth close to your ear and murmured ‘ be careful ‘ before leaving.

It had sounded almost like a warning. Like a woman on edge that was so close to snapping, a warning that you wouldn’t like what would come your way if she did snap. But you knew you would. It’s all you could think about. And knowing she was so incredibly close to giving in… maybe today might be your lucky day after all.

You didn’t know why she was holding back. At first you had thought it was because of Joel. When they first arrived in town to anyone with a working set of eyes they looked like a couple. The way they were so ridiculously in tune with the other, so much so that you’d often watched them have entire conversations without even opening their mouths. They worked and moved as one, were fiercely defensive and protective of the other.

It had been quite the surprise when you’d found out that they weren’t a thing. You’d gone over to their place to hang out with Ellie and she’d shown you around, shown you how Joel had his own room. And so did Tess.

From that point on you’d had less shame about swooning over her. Knowing she wasn’t actually with Joel. And that stupid little crush had stayed with you right though to the current day. Where it was now as strong as ever.

And seemingly finally ready to burst.

You had tried everything in your power. Even getting with occasional other person with the simple motivation of making her jealous. Nothing was working.

But you were persistent.

Tess was waiting for you by the stables leant back against the wall with her arms folded, as they always were, rolling a stone under the toe of her boot absentmindedly. It felt like an almost childlike thing from her, something innocent. A side to her that you only ever saw in those family nights at Ellie’s.

She looked up when she heard you approaching, a smile pulling at her lips.

“ right on time. I was beginning to think spending so much time with Ellie would rub off on you “ you rolled your eyes but smiled too. Ellie would be late to her own damn funeral it was true. She had zero concept of time keeping “ do you have a horse? “ she asked with a nod towards the stables behind her.

“ I usually just ride with Ellie when we go out on the group patrols “

“ are you confident enough to ride on your own? “ you were. But you stopped before you spoke, a lightbulb suddenly burning brightly in your mind. If you said you weren’t confident would she let you ride with her? Or would she just send you right back to group patrols. Was it worth the risk of saying no? Just for the chance of getting to sit close against her for a while? “ you can just ride with me if- “

“ yeah. I’ll ride with you “ you said it far too quickly. And you prayed it would just come across as you having some fear of riding alone and not that you were desperate to have some kind of physical contact with her. Of literally any kind.

The small smirk that pulled at her lips didn’t tell you which one she thought it was. If she was laughing at you for being afraid. Or was simply smirking because she knew you too well now and she knew exactly why you’d said it. Either way you didn’t really care, because the outcome was still the same.

“ alright. Let’s go “ you followed her into the stables as she checked out her horse, following closely at her side as she walked it by the reigns down towards the main gates out of town.

All of the morning patrols were waiting, Jesse up front looking far too put together for someone who had downed enough whiskey the previous night to absolutely obliterate his liver. He was reeling off the patrols and the routes they were taking, making sure everyone was present and correct.

“ we’re on a good route “ she said quietly, still looking at Jesse and feigning interest in his words “ easy as fuck. It’s why me and Joel always pick it “ she said with a small laugh “ unless you’re in the mood to fuck some shit up, then it’s not so great “

“ blowing the head off of some infected. Tried and tested stress reliever “

“ exactly “

“ so. Which route are we on? “

“ ski lodge. Nice and quiet. And the lodge is nice too, spend most of your time there because the patrol doesn’t take long. Definitely the best route to be on. Told you. It’s why Joel and I always request it. And I convinced Jesse it was a good route for a newbie so. Joel’s on the creek trails with Tommy “ she seemed quite smug with herself at the fact she’d gotten the better route.

It did sound nice though. And spending some time alone with her in the lodge? You really were winning today.

When Jesse finished giving out his orders, you mounted Tess’ horse behind her, scooching as close as humanly possible and holding onto her. You wanted to move your hands under her jacket, feel the warmth of her through the soft plaid shirt she had on. But you resisted, convinced that if you thought about it hard enough you’d feel it through the canvas material of her jacket.

You watched as the large gates out of town were opened, the wood creaking loudly.

Your family had been one of the founding members of Jackson, helping Maria and her father build it up into what it was currently. So all you’d ever really known was the town. So every time those gates opened you felt some rush of adrenaline. Excitement mixed with anxiety at leaving the safety of those walls.

Even though it was exactly the same, you always felt like the air was fresher the second you left. A cooler breeze, a warmer sun. It was nice. Summer was creeping up fast. The days were getting longer, warmer, brighter. It made you feel more awake.

Horse rides in the spring were much nicer than the winter too, the warm sun on your skin and the light speckling through the leaves of the trees. Jackson was unbelievably pretty.

Tess was quiet for a while as she rode, taking you in the opposite direction you were used to. The woods were a little denser than the routes you were usually assigned. It made the ride a little bumpy but you didn’t mind, it gave you another excuse to hold tighter to Tess. Able to use the excuse of some fear of falling off if she questioned it.

“ scared of riding or something? “ she eventually asked, a slight teasing tone to her words as she spoke.

“ not really. I’ve rode alone before but. I don’t know. I feel better with someone else. I fell off when I was younger and broke wrist. Freaked me out I guess “

“ they freaked me out at first “ she confessed “ before Jackson i’d never rode before. Joel taught me “ you wouldn’t have guessed that. She seemed a pretty confident rider right from the start. She seemed pretty confident with everything. You didn’t think you’d ever actually seen her afraid.

“ I didn’t think you were scared of anything “ she scoffed at that

“ i didn’t say scared “ she went quiet again then as you continued on. She didn’t speak again until you reached the lodge “ we’ll tie the horse here. The patrol route is just along the ridge up there, loops back around. Then down into the town down there, there’s a lookout log in one of the houses at the end of the street. Loop back up. Easy as fuck “ you nodded, squinting in the early morning sun as it cut through the gaps in the trees. Some birds were tweeting away on the branches and it felt almost peaceful.

She jumped down from the horse then turned to you

“ c’mon “ she grabbed at your waist to hoist you down, your hands falling onto her shoulders to support yourself. Your mind blanked for a moment at the feel of her hands on you, feeling as though they were burning through the material of your shirt. Something passed over her face as she looked at you, as if noticing the silent reaction you were having. But she said nothing.

She let you go and grabbed her rifle, nodding to something behind you

“ that’s the way. Follow me “ you grabbed your own gun out of your backpack as she started walking, running to catch up to her.

You trailed a little behind her as she walked, simply so you could get a better look at her. Even there when there was no one else around, no one she needed to look tough for. She still oozed confidence. The way she walked. The way she kept her head held high. No attempts to shrink away. To hide. To walk in the way Ellie had done when you first met her, like she was too afraid to take up space.

Tess wanted to take up space. She wanted people to know who she was and what she was about. She wasn’t afraid… of anything it seemed.

In fact. You knew she wasn’t.

You’d heard the stories. The rumours. The things that Ellie had told you. That Tess and Joel weren’t… good. They didn’t do good things. They hadn’t. But a twisted part of you liked that. Wanted to know more. Details. Wanted to hear about what she had done and all she was willing to do to stay and alive and to protect the people she loved.

You wanted to be one of those people. Wanted her to do sick things to protect you, to prove all she was willing to do to keep you safe.

You craved a love like that. A desperate and all consuming kind. A kind you knew she could give you.

If she would just stop holding herself back.

“ got some runners “ she said looking over the ridge to one of the towns in the distance. They were pretty far out, looking almost like little ants dashing around the place from so far away.

You watched as her hands moved into a comfortable and familiar position with her gun, pulling the trigger and taking down the strays with ease. You were fixated. On her face, the way her eyes narrowed as she aligned her shot through the scope, the way her lips parted slightly as she steadied her breath. Ammo was precious and she made every shot worth it. You watched her fingers, how long and slender they were. You wanted to melt between them. Wanted to feel what it was like to turn to mush beneath her finger tips.

You had spent many nights dreaming of how they felt. How they’d feel in your hair, trailing across your back, wrapped around your throat, curled up inside of you.

You felt your cheeks flush with heat.

“ alright. Let’s keep moving “ she snapped you out of your daydreaming as she lowered the gun, one look over now showing the little ant like runners were motionless on the ground.

“ that was impressive “ you said, clearing your throat lightly in some attempt to distract your thoughts.

“ it’s practice “ is all she said, carrying on along the track. You wondered if this was some old hiking trail or something. If people had come through there years ago, walking that same path for fun. Not to shoot infected. Though you weren’t entirely sure how anyone could find trekking through the woods fun. But maybe that was because your idea of it was so tainted.

It was pretty. You couldn’t deny that. The morning sun in the mountains and the flowers in full bloom. But you had a much better view.

As you watched her you wondered if she ever thought things like that about you. You had caught her watching you before. Many times. And she wasn’t sheepish about it either. She didn’t immediately look away if she saw you had caught her, would hold it another second or two and then look away.

It did make you think.

She came to a stop again looking out at a town slightly futher out than the last. She pulled some binoculars from her pack and looked though them for a moment.

“ wanna take ‘em? “ she asked, lowering her binoculars and looking over at you. The sun was catching her just right, enveloping her in golden light like the goddess you so often heralded her as. You were very obviously staring but you couldn’t bring yourself to stop. Maybe it was because she could clearly see that you were. And were certain you saw her lips quirk into a smile. Just a subtle one. But a smile “ hello? Are you suddenly mute? “

She waved a hand in front of your face and you shrugged, not even a sliver of embarrassment in your face. You wanted her to see you. Wanted her to know you were looking.

“ my gun doesn’t have a scope “ she held out her own gun to you, swapping it with your own

“ have at em “

“ alright “ you moved to stand closer to her, looking through the scope at the small group of runners aimlessly wandering around across the way.

You were a pretty decent shot. Better than others in town for sure. But you were no one if not an opportunist. So you missed your first two shots. And then your third. Repressing your smile when you heard her slightly frustrated sigh.

“ I’m getting there im getting there “ you said, missing a fourth shot.

“ you’re wasting all my fuckin ammo that’s what you’re doing. Come here “ she moved to stand behind you, her hands falling over yours to readjust your hold, her chest pressed firmly against your back. You didn’t hold back your smile that time, unable to hold onto the giant grin that spread across your face at her closeness “ now try “ she said, stepping back but holding her hands to your shoulders.

You made the shot. Of course you did. Even if it did take a second longer than normal to steady your aim, Tess’ hands on you throwing you off.

“ that’s it “ she praised “ good girl keep that up “ that threw you again, freezing a little at the term of endearment. The praise. From her. God you were fucked.

You cleared the ridge of infected and turned your head to look at her with a beaming smile.

“ pretty good huh? “ she was much closer than you’d thought, so close you could see the individual lashes on her eyelids, the freckles that sprinkled across her nose.

“ pretty good “ she confirmed, she had a slightly quizzical look on her face as she looked at you. Her eyebrows slightly furrowed.

Then she reached for her gun and stepped back.

“ sometimes some down by the ski lift too. Then we’ll grab the horse and head into the town “ you gave a nod and followed her.

She made quick work of the couple stragglers by the ski lift before you headed back down the track towards the lodge.

“ you like watching me “ she noted as you walked, catching you slightly off guard “ you’re not subtle about it so don’t bother saying you don’t “ you wouldn’t lie to her anyway. You weren’t ashamed. And if you were as un subtle as she said? Then what was the point anyway.

“ I do “ you confirmed with a shrug “ you’re nice to look at “ she scoffed at that, her face giving nothing away on what she really thought “ you watch me too “

“ you’re nice to look at “ she echoed, teasing tones to her words and a glance in your direction. She looked you up and down for a moment before looking back at the trail in front of her.

She had looked you up and down for barely a second, but it had made your cheeks burn. One simple look from her made you crazy. That paired with the ‘good girl’ from earlier was sending you into a spin.

She had said it to you once before whilst round at Ellie’s and Ellie had teased you for days about how flustered it had made you. It often made you wonder if Ellie knew of your ever growing desire for her pseudo mom. But probably not. Ellie was incredibly clever but oblivious as all hell when it came to things like that.

She had still questioned if Dina even liked her after the first time they had kissed, still asked you from time to time if you were ‘ sure she doesn’t have a thing for Jesse? ‘ as if Dina and her weren’t practically attached at the hip.

You wondered how she’d react if she knew. How Joel would react. How anyone would. It wasn’t like the gap in your ages was huge. You weren’t some doey eyed teenage running after a grown ass adult. You were an adult. Albeit a younger adult than her. But. Still. You wondered if it would raise eyebrows.

Though a part of you kind of liked that. In fact you really liked that. You could already picture how unbelievably smug you’d feel walking around with her, how much you’d love to shove it right into the faces of the other people in town who had tried it with her- and failed quite miserably from what you had seen and heard.

It was actually quite frustrating how she batted people away and yet still managed to make you jealous when you weren’t the full centre of her attention.

You made it back down to the lodge and Tess helped you back up onto the horse, happy to have your arms back around her again as you headed down into the small town.

“ is there usually infected down here? “

“ no. They tend to stay higher up. Don’t ask why cause I don’t fuckin know “ you smiled at that, immediately knowing that Ellie and her one million and one questions about everything were probably the reason behind her immediate request for no questions “ hold tight it’s bumpy down here “ you didn’t need to be told twice for that.

“ it’s nice out here isn’t it? “ you said as you crossed a small stream “ almost romantic right? “ Tess scoffed at that

“ you don’t strike me as the romantic type sweetheart “

“ oh? And what’s that supposed to mean”

“ you know “

“ I don’t “ you feigned innocence, knowing exactly what she did mean but wanting to make her say it. That she knew about you trying to her attention. That she paid enough attention to hear about the occasional fling with townsfolk with the soul purpose of making her jealous. You needed your delusions confirmed.

“ oh. Then I guess it’s not you that’s seducing anyone that comes within ten feet of me? Funny. Could’ve sworn it was you “ she knew. She’d noticed. It had worked.

“ I think you’re a little confused Tess “ you said close to her ear, trying to suppress your smile “ now why would I do that? “ you pushed the most innocent tone you could, a picture of pure demure innocence that was as far from the truth as could be.

No sweet innocent girl would spend her time fantasising about fucking her best friends mom.

“ I told you to be careful sweetheart. Do as you’re told “ her voice had taken on that low, almost threatening sultry tone it had done in the Bison. The one warning you to stop because she would eventually break and you didn’t want her to break.

But god did you want her to.

You reached the town with the air so thick between you you felt like you could cut it with a knife but you tried to ignore it and do your job.

“ we check in the buildings? “ you asked

“ just patrol the street. House down the end there? There’s a lookout log, we mark it off and head back. Then kill time until it’s time to change. Told you this route is easy “ you nodded and jumped down from the horse, grabbing your gun again just in case.

You made your way quietly down the street, your eyes looking at every single house you passed. Anytime you came across old buildings it made you wonder who had been there before. What the towns and houses looked like before they were derelict. Where were the people now? How many of them were still alive?

“ you ever live in a place like this? “ you asked. You didn’t know a whole lot about Tess and her past. In fact you knew nothing about her before the apocalypse. Ellie had never told you anything. You knew about some of the things she got up to in the 20 years before she’d found Ellie. Tommy had told you. Ellie had mentioned things. But pre apocalyptic Tess? You knew nothing

You wondered what she had been like and how much she had changed.

“ no “ was all she said.

“ where did you live? “

“ Detroit “ she said again, simple and matter of fact “ you? “ she was deflecting the topic away from her.

“ Jackson. Jackson. And er. Jackson. I’ve never seen anywhere else. What’s Detroit like? “ she shrugged

“ fine. I don’t like cities “

“ why? “

“ you ask a whole lot of questions sweetheart “ maybe spending so much time with Ellie really was rubbing off on you.

“ I’m just interested in you “ Tess scoffed again, glancing over at you for a moment

“ really? Never would’ve fuckin guessed that “

You both went quiet again as you walked. She looked like she wanted to say something else but was too distracted. Stopping in her tracks outside one of the houses in the street.

“ you hear that? “ she whispered.

You did. The shuffling and quiet sobs and groans that could only be infected. Tess slowly reloaded her gun and nodded in the direction she wanted you to follow her. You held your gun firmly, crouching below the window ledge next to Tess.

“ we’re gonna do this nice and quietly “ she said, her voice steady and low “ knife? “ you withdrew it from where you kept it tucked in your boot and she nodded “ okay. Nice. And quiet “ you had taken down infected more times than you could count, but it didn’t make it any less terrifying each time.

One bite and you’d be a goner. That’s all it took.

Tess carefully climbed though the window, you close on her heels. Once inside the house you spotted two. Thankfully. Easy. Tess made light work of the one furthest away and you took down the other just as swiftly, quiet in your approach before plunging your knife into its skull, angling it’s head backwards so it’s teeth couldn’t grab at you.

Tess snuck through into the next room, clearly hearing something else as you carefully lay the body on the ground, wiping the blood from your knife on the remaining upholstery of the couch. She was dropping the body of another infected to the floor as you joined her.

“ I don’t hear anymore “

“ should we check upstairs? “ Tess nodded and you led the way, careful on the stairs that looked ready to collapse at any moment. Upstairs you found a dead body, one that clearly hadn’t been as strong when the infection had taken over. You were just thankful for the fact that roof was half collapsed, fresh air spilling into the room so that the spores had dispersed.

“ this one’s done “ Tess said, looking over the body. You wondered how long it had been there. You guessed a while, the floor surrounding it was covered in dried out tendrils, the legs of the person practically melting into the hardwood. It made you sad to think about anyone ending up that way “ let’s go. We need to mark this down in the log “

She left the room before you, mildly fixated on the body on the floor. You’d never want to end up that way. The second you got bit you’d shove a gun in your mouth and end it before the fungus could control your mind. No way would you end up like that.

You left the room to find Tess had already gone back downstairs. But before you could make the precarious trip back down, you heard something. You assumed it was probably another runner that you had both somehow missed and decided to take it out too. Last thing you needed was it getting out into the street.

So you snuck into the room on the opposite side of the hall, pushing open the door slowly.

But what you found was not a runner. It was far worse.

It happened too fast for you to even process exactly what was happening at first. One second you were looking at the rotting wood of the door, the next the split open face of a clicker was bearing down on you.

You were too shell shocked to even scream, simply pushing and kicking to keep the gnashing teeth of the clicker away from you. The screeches it made made your ears ring, deafening you as it desperately tried to bite. To spread.

“ Tess! “ you frantically fumbled around for your knife, not sure where it had slid off to and unable to reach down for your gun.

The screeching was only drowned out by the sound of a gunshot. Blood splattering over your face as Tess shot it in the back of the head, it still screeching and wriggling to bite you. To fill your blood with fungus and control your mind.

She appeared above you, kicking it off and shooting a further two bullets into its face until it stopped squirming. It lay twitching on the ground for a few moments before going still. You pushed yourself onto your elbows trying to catch your breath.

“ well shit “ you gasped, looking up at Tess who was watching you intently, her eyes wide in concern. And maybe shock at how that was your reaction. But what else were you supposed to say?

You felt something twisting deep in your belly, the way she had thrown herself in harms way to protect you. How she looked stood there with her stern face looking down at you. Powerful. Strong.

You’d never wanted her so badly. Which was funny to think about. You’d just nearly died. But there you were simply thinking about your knight in shining armour.

“ you okay? You gotta be more fucking careful “ she held her hand out to you, pulling you up to your feet again. She ran her hands over your arms and turned your face in her hands “ clean? “ you were lost for words and simply nodded.

You didn’t entirely know what it was. Maybe it was the fact she had protected you without a second thought, had put herself in harms way. Killed for you. Maybe it was just the adrenaline cursing through your bloodstream.

“ well, could at least say thank you sweetheart “

You couldn’t help yourself.

You dove forward, kissing her without a second thought, wrapping your fingers around her wrists that were still holding your face.

It was like she had expected it. Kissing you back in an instant, her grip on your face tightening to move you how she wanted. You had initiated it but she had the control. She took your breath away. Your lungs burning with the lack of air but you didn’t want to stop. It was a little desperate, pure adrenaline and lust and nothing more. But you didn’t mind.

You were too focussed on her. Her taste. Her lips. They were as soft as they looked, pillowy against your own. She kissed you like you were her source of air, as equally desperate as you. Which was an interesting revelation for saying how long she had been rejecting your advances.

She broke away first, leaving you gasping for air as she scanned your face with her eyes. She held you for a second longer before stepping back.

“ I think that was all of them I don’t hear anything else “ she said in a steady tone “ let’s go fill in the log. And head back “ she turned before you could answer her, question whether or not she was angry or as happy as you were. You could never tell with Tess. She was too difficult to read and it was annoying. Because she was so incredibly good at reading everyone else.

You followed on her heels as she went back downstairs and walked in purposeful strides towards the house at the end of the street, from the outside it looked like all the other abandoned ones in the town. But she lead you up the half collapsed stairs and into the bedroom at the front of the house. The log was hidden under a box in the closet, months and months worth of patrol logs written down.

You glanced over as she filled it in, noticing most of the patrols were marked by her or Joel.

You didn’t know if you should talk about what had happened. The infected or the kiss. Or both. So you decided to just say nothing, watching as she noted down the infected in the house and up on the ridge, marking it as now all clear. Though it did sting ever so slightly that she wasn’t acknowledging it. Acting as though it simply hadn’t happened.

“ okay. Let’s go “

The house was on the edge of the town, a stream running along the back. You wondered if it was the same one you’d seen earlier. Tess stopped beside it, kneeling down to cup some of the water in her hands and wash the blood that had gotten on her face. You joined her, washing away the blood from the clicker and rinsing your hands in the cool water.

“ thank you “ you said suddenly. Realising you still hadn’t said it. Tess looked up at you with a small look of confusion, drying her hands off on her jeans “ for the clicker. Saving me “ she shrugged and stood up again, nodding back up the street.

“ it’s nothing. Let’s go “ you sighed, a little frustrated that that was all she had to say about it

“ it’s not nothing “ you said as you hurried to keep up with her “ you saved my life “

“ let’s not be dramatic now sweetheart “ dramatic. You huffed in mild annoyance and followed her back to the horse. How was she so blasé about it? Yes clickers weren’t exactly a new thing. And she had killed hundreds of them before. But she had still saved you. Had still stopped one turning you into a mushrooms little puppet.

“ I don’t think me saying thank you for killing a clicker for me is being dramatic Tess “ the glance she gave you was almost amused. Like she found it funny. Like what you were saying was stupid or funny. It was annoying “ don’t look at me like that “

“ like what? “ you didn’t even bother to answer her as you both headed back up the street. You mind began drifting back to the image of her standing above you, to how concerned she had looked as she frantically checked you for bites. You’d not seen her switch up so fast before. From looking so sinister and stern to looking almost soft.

Soft Tess was rare. You saw it so very little. Only in glimpses in those nights spent at Ellies, possible cracks in her strong facade. Light leaking through the gaps and showing what she might have been like before.

Had she had a family? Spent nights frequently like those with you, Ellie and Joel? But with her husband. Or wife. Did she have kids? Had she been alone? There was so much you wanted to know but quite certain you never actually would. She was too closed off. Those parts of her buried deep deep down so that maybe even she couldn’t reach them anymore.

You had seen it in others before. Seen how much the infected world had changed them, left them a shell of who they used to be. You couldn’t help but wonder how broken Tess was. You couldn’t imagine her as someone who was happy and joyful and that was sad. Because you knew at some point she had been.

A small, cocky part of you liked to think you’d get through that hard shell eventually. You’d pick away at her until she showed you some glimpse of the past her.

No time soon though. That shell was there to stay for now. But you didn’t mind. You liked her now. You liked her tough exterior and her intimidating gaze. You liked the adrenaline she sent cursing through you blood. You thought that maybe the nice and caring type wasn’t really the person for you.

Tess was.

The ride back to the lodge was quiet, your arms wrapped back around her again with your hands resting on her stomach. You could feel the heat seeping through her shirt now. From the adrenaline of the infected no doubt, you wanted to untuck the fabric from her jeans or carefully undo the buttons. Feel how hot her skin was, how it feel against your fingertips.

You almost laughed at yourself. How quickly your mind could dart back to the ever underlying lust that constantly bubbled in your veins.

She didn’t help you off the horse this time, dismounting herself and heading into the lodge. You got the idea that the ride to the lodge had given her time to think. A tension settling in the air now.

Was she annoyed? Angry?

You guessed the only way to tackle it was head on.

“ are we gonna talk about it? “ you asked as she dropped her bag down on the table, placing her gun down beside it. She didn’t look up at you, shedding her jacket too “ Tess “

“ what do you want me to say? “

“ anything “ she scoffed and looked over at you. She had that look again. That warning. That look that was almost dangerous.

“ anything “ she echoed, mocking.

“ even if you want to pretend I didn’t- we. Didn’t. At least tell me that for fucks sake “ you said, throwing your hands up in annoyance before leaning back against the bar with a sigh. She was so frustrating at times.

“ is that what you think? Is that what you want? “

“ no of course it’s not “ she was watching with a deep intensity, focussed and determined. It made you squirm “ I’ve wanted to kiss you for months “ you confessed with some new confidence “ and I know you did too “

“ oh? You know? “ she said with a small laugh, mocking again. She’d been doing that a lot. If it had been anyone else it would have pissed you off.

“ yes. I see how close you are to cracking “ you said, eyebrow raised and some cockiness dug up from god knows where. You knew it would push her buttons deliciously. She didn’t like being challenged. She didn’t like anyone attempting to one up her, get in her head and know what she was thinking. What she did enjoy was crushing that person like an ant under her boot, kicking them two pegs back where they belonged.

“ you think you know me now? Huh? “

“ I do “ she scoffed. Again.

“ you know nothing sweetheart “ her tone was growing lower. Darker. It made butterflies burst in your stomach. It was working. You were so close you could taste it. So close to kicking down those final bricks of the wall she’d built between you both.

“ I know you want me as badly as I want you “ you pushed yourself off the bar and took a few steps forward. The air was suffocating. So thick it was almost making you feel too warm “ so what’s stopping you Tess? I’m right here “ her gaze was piercing. Burning into you so intensely that you had to fight to keep up your confident facade.

“ you never listen. Do you? “ she said calmly “ I told you to be careful “ she had. A lot. But you knew there was something else below that. Something you were so close to finally reaching “ I don’t think this is you being careful “

“ I know “ she moved towards you then, slow but purposeful. Stalking. A predator hunting prey. A fox waiting to dive onto a rabbit and tear it to pieces. Backing you up until your back hit the bar again.

“ what do you want from me? Huh? “ her voice was low, gravely. It made your heart beat fast and something twist deep in your stomach. You wondered if anyone else would be scared. Intimated. If anyone else would back down and walk away. You wouldn’t. You refused.

“ you already know “ it wasnt as confident as you wanted, lower and softer. She was in your space now. She only had an inch or so on you in height, yet you felt tiny. Small. Your breath stuttered.

She nudged her fingers under your chin, tilting your face upwards so you’d look her in the eyes.

“ everyone back in town… they think you’re so good don’t they? “ she said, her eyes burning into yours. It made your knees weak “ but look at you. Listen to you “ her words were teasing. Mocking. Like she was making fun of you but you didn’t even care. You couldn’t think straight. Not with her that close, touching you, looking at you like that “ you’re not good “

“ you’re not good “

“ no “ she confirmed without missing a beat “ I’m not good. But you like that don’t you? “ did you like that she wasn’t good? That she had done bad things and had no ounce of shame about. That she would go to those lengths for the people she loved

Yes.

You did like it.

You wanted her to do those things for you. To go to those lengths.

“ I asked you a question “

“ yes “ you answered immediately, the most confident sounding thing you’d said so far “ yes I like it “

“ does Maria know you behave like this? Think like this? Does Ellie? What would they say huh? “ her other hand came up and brushed your hair away from your face, tucking it softly behind your ear. It felt too gentle in comparison to how she was talking to you “ what would they say if they knew what went on in this pretty little head of yours, hmm? “

“ I don’t know… I don’t think they know. But I’m not subtle am I? “ you tried to joke but her intensity made your breath stutter again.

“ you’re not subtle “ she confirmed “ you’re desperate “ you nodded almost instantly. What was the point in denying it when it was so clearly obvious to her?

“ and I keep pushing you away yet… you keep coming back “

“ you don’t scare me. You can tell me to be careful as much as you like. I don’t care “ that made her smile, huffing a small laugh through her nose.

“ you know the things I’ve done? “ you nodded again “ and you like them “ another nod. She was quiet again for a few moments, eyes slowly scanning down your face and to where she had her body pressed against yours “ does it make you wet? “ she asked with a smirk, your cheeks flooding with warmth at the question “ it does “ you couldn’t quite believe what was happening. Finally “ what do you want from me? “ she asked again, her thumb brushing over your bottom lip lightly. You had to fight the urge to pull her into your mouth and trap it between your teeth.

“ you “ you said simply “ I want you. I need you “ her eyes narrowed a little, the smirk still on her face. She seemed to be thinking, milling it over in her mind and you knew it would only take one more simple thing to finally make her crack completely “ don’t you want me too? “ you asked, voice full of innocence.

She spun you around, trapping you between her and the bar, her hand gripping tightly to your chin to pull you back tightly against her and brushing her lips against the shell of your ear.

“ do you know how much I do? How much I think about this? About you? “ she murmured, her lips pressing against your exposed neck “ do you know how hard it’s been for me trying to restrain myself? With you throwing yourself at me like a bitch in fuckin heat? “ you pushed your ass back against her as an answer, pushing her to finally give in. She was so close.

Her other hand slid down over your ass, unashamedly groping at you through the worn, soft denim of your jeans.

“ then stop restraining yourself. No one’s stopping you “ you wanted to sound confident and cocky, but it came out breathy and quiet.

“ you don’t know what you’re asking me for “

“ I’m asking you to fuck me. Show me how badly you’ve wanted me “ she seemed to hesitate for a moment and you pushed yourself back against her again “ you think I should be scared of you. I’m not “

“ then maybe you’re stupid “

“ maybe I am “ it seemed to be enough persuasion, as her hand moved around to the front and unbuttoned your jeans with ease.

You pushed them down as far as you could reach before she could, too desperate to get them all the way off. But your confidence seemed to vanish the moment she cupped her hand over your covered cunt, palm pressing against you in a way that made you sigh softly.

“ sensitive “ she murmured seemingly to herself, tracing her finger over the outline of your pussy lips and the small wet patch that was already forming on the cotton of your underwear “ already wet for me sweetheart? “ your brain short circuited at that. All your cockiness and confidence melting away.

“ yes. Just for you “ you could feel your underwear flooding as the words left your mouth, as silky and seductive as you could muster. And it clearly worked. She hooked her fingers into your underwear and pushed them down so you could wiggle out of them. Your cheeks burned at being exposed to her. It was what you had wanted for so long. And now it was finally happening.

You pushed yourself back against her again, urging her to touch you properly. You were desperate for it.

“ such a desperate, pathetic little thing “ she said, mocking in her words. The degrading words made you squeeze your thighs together, your cheeks flushing “ ah ah. Legs apart. Be a good girl. You’ve been throwing yourself at me for months and now you try hide from me? “ you did as you were told immediately, moving your legs apart as she slipped her hand down. Her fingers ghosted over you, barely touching at first as she wrapped her fingers around your throat to keep you held back against her.

“ you feel so good “ she murmured, her fingers simply sliding between your folds, spreading you open and gathering your arousal on the pads of her fingers “ so fuckin wet for me “ you whimpered pathetically as some kind of answer, nerves buzzing at finally being touched by her “ where’s that fuckin attitude now huh? “ she teased, still avoiding your clit “ not so brave now? No? “ you were slightly embarrassed to admit the mocking tone she kept using was simply making you wetter.

You’d be lucky if you lasted ten fucking seconds.

“ please stop teasing “ you whined like some spoilt brat, you knew it would have absolutely zero effect on her but you had no shame.

“ you think you get to make demands? Hmm? That’s not how this works “ she squeezed at your throat, sending you light headed and fuzzy, effectively rendering you speechless “ so stupid you can’t even speak “ she sighed, a mock disappointment in her words that made you whimper.

Your previous confidence was obsolete. But that was what you’d expected. What you’d wanted. You knew she’d break you.

“ you don’t get to make demands do you understand? “ she said in that sultry, stern voice as she released her grip on your neck and turned you around so she could look at you.

“ yes “ you whispered

“ you’re gonna do as you’re told “ her fingers dipped between your folds again, pressing lightly at your entrance. You clenched around nothing, like some silent request for her to just push that little bit further. You needed to know what those fingers felt like inside of you, you’d spent so long staring at them. Imagining. You couldn’t wait any longer it was torture “ and I’m gonna fuck you how I want to “ you nodded frantically, no shame in your desperation for her now. You were quite sure in that moment you’d do literally anything she asked “ and you don’t come until I tell you to okay? “

The moan that escaped your parted lips was pathetic as she finally pushed past the tight muscles at your entrance, pushing as deep as she could get.

“ there we go. That’s what you wanted isn’t it? “ you couldn’t speak, eyes falling closed as you attempted to try and figure out whether or not this was all just some incredibly vivid dream.

You were certain any second you’d wake up in your bed, having dreamt the entire goddamn thing. But the way your skin was prickling with heat, the way her fingers felt as she set herself into a steady rhythm thrusting in and out of you… it had to be real.

She was speaking to you but you couldn’t focus enough. She wasn’t even really doing much. Her rhythm was steady. Her hand not even touching your clit. Yet you were on cloud nine. Pleasure trickling through every single drop of blood in your veins, the simple fact that it was actually happening making you want to explode with joy.

You had waited so long. Worked so hard. And now it was finally in action.

When she realised you weren’t exactly listening to her, she pressed the heel of her hand against your clit so hard it made you see stars.

“ silly little girl thought she could handle it “ Tess said, sucking her teeth and sighing “ barely fuckin touching you and look at the state of you “ you almost wished you could see. Wished you had a mirror to see how much she was ruining you with such little effort.

“ I can handle it “ you mumbled, forcing yourself to focus harder “ I can “

“ you can? “

“ mhm “ she took it as a challenge. Angling her fingers at a spot inside of you you could so rarely find yourself, hitting it over and over again at a relentless pace. Her palm brushing against your throbbing clit with every single movement. Your fingers wrapped around her wrist and she removed the hand still loosely holding your neck to pull your hand away instantly.

“ hands to yourself. Did I tell you could touch me? I don’t think I did “ you resorted to gripping at the worn wood of the bar as she continued back to her previous actions.

The way she was looking at you was too intense, the way she was smiling as she fucked you. Watching every little detail of your face.

You had thought about it too long and dreamt of it for too long, that you were quite sure you were gonna come any second. It had hardly been a couple minutes and you were done already? It was quite embarrassing

“ you need to come already sweetheart? Already? “ you closed your eyes, whines and moans tumbling last your lips as you gave her a small nod. She could read you so well it was scary. Your cheeks flushed in embarrassment and anticipating the inevitable mocking that was coming your way “ I thought you were better than that. Do you remember what I told you? Hmm? “

“ don’t. Don’t come until you say “ you gasped, nails scratching at the hardwood as she started circling your clit “ fuck. Tess “

“ not yet. You can take some more can’t you? This is what you wanted “ your legs began to shake as she added a third finger, stretching you out around her digits. It was almost too much at first, the surprise and the overwhelming feeling of the initial burn that quickly slipped into pleasure as she squeezed at your neck again.

You could hear your pulse hammering in your ears, throbbing in your temples. The pressure back on your clit again was the final straw. You couldn’t hold on much longer

“ Tess i need to- fuck “

“ what do you say? “ she said in a calm tone, almost bored. As if what she was doing was completely normal, like you watching a movie or something else completely mundane. Not that she was fucking you in the middle of the lodge.

“ please “ you gasped “ please Tess “ you fought to stave it off, trying to angle your hips away from her in some hopes it would move her off the spot that was making you see stars. But she had you trapped and you were stuck there “ Tess “

She milled it over for a few more moments before sighing.

“ okay. Show me what you look like when you come “ you didn’t need telling twice, letting go and gripping painfully hard to the bar as your orgasm washed over you. Your legs shook as she kept up her movements, not stopping even when you went slack. You wiggled to get out of her grasp as she kept thrusting her fingers against your sensitive walls, a squeal of a moan as she pushed against your clit.

“ Tess “ she finally let you go, withdrawing her hand and making you wince “ fuck “ she gripped at your face as you tried to catch your breath, breathing heavily as she scanned your face.

“ do you come that hard for the others? “ she asked, eyes narrowing slightly as she waited for your response.

“ no “ you whispered. She looked incredibly put together still, barely breaking a sweat, her shirt still tucked in, hair still tied up. You knew it was a stark comparison to how you looked.

You wanted to make her look messy. To make her sweat. Make her moan. Wreck that stoney facade.

But she grabbed your wrist as you reached out for the buttons of her jeans.

“ no. You don’t deserve that yet “ you whined in protest but she simply sighed and gave you that mock look of pity as she pushed your hair from your face softly “ you told me you could handle this. So you’re gonna prove it. You think you get to come once and then you’re done? No “

“ I don’t know if I can “ you said with a small laugh. Not exactly wanting to tap out but your legs were jelly. You wanted to touch her even if just to give you time to regroup. To recover. To prepare for what was next.

“ yes you can “ she said without missing a beat “ you’re not done until I say you are. I thought you said you could handle it? “ she repeated her earlier statement

“ I can “ she pulled a face of mock pity, tucking her fingers under your chin so you’d look at her

“ poor baby thought she could take it “ her voice was dripping in sarcasm and you huffed in annoyance. You could “ I thought you were better than this. once and you’re done? That’s pathetic “

“ I. Can. just- fuck can we sit?” Tess grinned at your defiance, grabbing your hand and pulling you over to one of the large couches. She sat down, pulling you onto her lap so your back pressed against her chest

“ better? “ you nodded. It actually was. Your legs had felt like utter jelly “ spread your legs “ you took a moment to comply, getting your energy back. She tapped your thigh with the back of her hand “ do as you’re told “ you complied immediately with that, letting her grab at you and move you how she wanted you “ you gonna be a good girl for me? “

“ yes “ you whispered as her arm looped around your neck, her other hand groping at your chest through the thin material of your shirt. She pressed kisses to your cheek, such gentle gestures in comparison to how she was holding you.

“ gonna be such a good girl hmm? “ she cooed, still peppering your face in kisses as she groped at you “ my pretty girl huh? “ you felt like you were floating, eyes falling closed at the blissful feeling of being called hers ‘my pretty girl’. Hers. Hers. It was softer than how she had been a few moments ago“ you’re all mine now hmm? “

“ yes “ you breathed out, her hand skimming down across your stomach towards the already sticky mess between your legs “ yes im yours. That’s all I want “ you whimpered as her fingers brushed over your sensitive clit lightly

“ of course you do. You’d do anything for me wouldn’t you? So desperate for my approval. My attention “ you nodded immediately, never more certain on anything. You’d do anything and everything she asked of you. You felt her smile against your skin at your fast answer, her teeth nipping at your ear as she slipped her fingers back into you again.

A drawn out moan left your throat at the feeling of her inside of you again. You needed it constantly. Needed her that close, apart of you. You hadn’t realised just how empty you had felt once she was back inside of you again. She loosened her hold on you slightly, replacing her arm around your neck with her hand on your throat again, barely squeezing but enough to remind you she was there. That she had that power. That she was in control. As if you’d ever think any different.

You wondered if you should be concerned by it. She had your life quite literally in her hand. But you liked it. You liked how small it made you feel. Liked the power she had over you. The dizzy feeling she gave you when she squeezed. You knew Tess liked it because she liked the power. She liked the control she had over you.

Your walls were still sensitive from before, squirming in her lap as she moved her fingers inside of you expertly. It made you wonder how she was so good. How many people had she had before you? Did she call those people hers too? Or were you different? It made jealousy rise in your chest, pushing your hips down and grinding on the hand that was fucking you. Desperate to come again in some attempt to prove to yourself that you were different.

Because you were certain it wasn’t possible for anyone to feel as good as you did in that moment. She could never have made anyone else feel like that. Never.

“ oh? Greedy girl “ she said with a small laugh, pressing the heel of her hand hard against your clit the same as she had done before in a way that made your vision flash white, your fingers digging into her skin in a way that must be painful. But she said nothing.

“ I’m yours “ you whimpered, mostly to console yourself more than ask her to confirm it “ I’m yours “

“ yes. You’re all mine “ she confirmed as you rutted against her hand, chasing your next orgasm “ my girl. My special girl that I can use however I want to, isn’t that right? “ the words were almost soft. Loving. But the tone of her voice was so different to that “ keep going. Like that. Show me how desperate you are, keep fucking yourself on my fingers. That’s a good girl “

She urged you on as you continued rutting against her hand. A few minutes ago you hadn’t been sure you could take anymore. And yet now you were chasing another orgasm.

She dropped her hand from around your throat, hand slipping under your shirt to grab at your chest. You took the opportunity to look down at where you were grinding down on her hand. You were mesmerised by the way her fingers disappeared inside of you, taking her down to the knuckles.

She had nice hands, you’d always thought that. But they looked far prettier thrusting in and out of your cunt, shiny and sticky with your arousal. You liked that. You liked the possessive feeling that swelled in your chest. She was covered in you. She was holding you. Fucking you.

“ you like watching? “ Tess said lowly in your ear, nudging her lips against your burning skin “ look at that pretty cunt. All wet for me “ she grazed her teeth over the skin of your neck and you closed your eyes, focusing on the sound of her voice. The sound of the moans spilling past your lips, the lewd wet sounds of your cunt gripping to her fingers as you rolled your hips “ how long have you been thinking about this? “ she asked in a low voice, her lips brushing your ear as she spoke “ tell me”

“ ever since- ever since you arrived in Jackson “ you confessed, trying and failing to steady your breathing “ so long “

“ how many times did you touch yourself thinking about me? Hmm? How many times did you play with this pretty pussy and wish it was me? “ her crude words made you flush and you tried to focus your thoughts

“ so many times “ you whined “ so many”

“ such a pretty head with such disgusting thoughts “ You nodded frantically in agreement, orgasm so close you could practically taste it.

“ can I come? Please. Please “

“ not yet. A little longer “ you whined in response “ you held it before. Hold it again “ you focussed all your energy on ignoring how badly you wanted to come again, ignored the throbbing of your clit and the way your walls involuntarily fluttered around her fingers “ ah. Keep watching. Eyes open, watch “ she said, noticing your eyes had fallen closed.

“ please Tess “ she ignored your plea, sucking and nipping at your neck instead. There’s no way you’d be able to hide those when you went back. She was purposefully going to make it difficult for you. Of course she was “ Tess”

“ no “ it was becoming impossible to hold it off. Was she really going to make you wait until she said?

“ Tess I can’t- “

“ do. As you’re told “ she said sternly, you could feel tears prickling at the corners of your eyes and you tried to focus on anything other than her. Of all the people you had been with, no one had ever made you feel like that. That desperate. That hungry to climax.

The mixture of her fingers curling inside of you and her lips and tongue soothing the tender skin on your neck, it was pure heaven. Like one of your dreams plucked right from your head and brought to life.

The only thing that would make it better was if she’d just fucking let you come.

She worked at your neck for another minute or so, even taking a moment to admire her work. It felt like an eternity before she finally sighed and hummed in appreciation at the bruises blossoming on your skin, before finally giving you the permission you were craving.

“ you can come now “ you felt her smile at the animalistic sound that left your throat, body shaking as you came for the second time. You tried to close your legs, trap her hand where it was but she slapped your thigh and pushed your legs apart again “ I didn’t say you could move did I “ she let her grasp on you loosen when you squirmed away from her touch, shifting onto the couch beside her and running a hand through your hair. Needing to escape the overstimulation she was trying to give.

“ oh man “ you sighed as you steadied your breathing again, dropping your head backwards and closing your eyes. You were exhausted.

You wondered how long you’d been there. How long did you have to run over your return time before someone came looking? What would they say if they saw you like that? Completely fucked out, with Tess of all people. What would Ellie say if she found out you were basically fucking her mom.

Tess’ hands gentle grabbed at your face, making you look at her again.

“ don’t go falling asleep on me now sweetheart “ you couldnt even focus on her properly. Your body ached. There was a dull throb between your legs. You wanted to go home and sleep for the rest of the day. Maybe with her. Cuddled up in her bed, in sheets that smelt like her, in her clothes.

She wouldn’t let you do such a thing though.

“ is there something more interesting to you? “ she tapped your cheek with the back of her hand, pulling your full focus back onto her again “ look at you “ she mused, a smug smile pulling at her lips and her eyes dragging over you in a way that was almost mocking “ nothing going on in that pretty little head is there? No. Dumb little thing “

“ not dumb “ you mumbled “ not “ she scoffed

“ then give me one more? “ everything was too much, your entire body buzzing and frazzled and unable to pinpoint exactly where pleasure was seeping into pain “ one more. And we can stop “ a sick, sadistic part of you didn’t even want her to stop. You wanted her to keep going on and on and on until your body gave out on you, wanted her to fuck you until you passed out. You wondered for a moment if she would. No.

You knew she would.

She was getting off on breaking you, on snapping every support you had keeping you standing, squashing you into a helpless heap on the floor. And you loved it. Craved it.

“ one more” you whispered and she smiled, shifting your legs off of where you’d draped them over her lap.

“ let me taste that pretty little pussy “ the words made you whimper, but you were more than happy to oblige to her wishes. Who were you to decline her? It might be your one and only chance.

You let her position you how she wanted , like some rag doll with no control of her limbs. Pulling you by the hips over her face and guiding you down.

You should’ve known her tongue would be just as skilful as her fingers. Strong and wet on the sensitive skin of your cunt, flicking over your clit in a way that made your veins feel as though they were filled with pure electricity. Sharp sparks running through your limbs and making your legs twitch at the overstimulating feeling.

It was almost painful. You’d never been kept going that long. You were achy. Sore. But you also didn’t want her to stop.

She was more gentle now, easing you over the bump in the road so that it simply morphed into pleasure again.

You let her hold your hips, move you how she wanted, dragging the flat of her tongue over every inch she could reach. It felt so good. So unbelievably good that tears sprung in your eyes again.

Tess noticed.

“ fuck you look so pretty when you cry. Are those tears for me sweetheart? You wanted this didn’t you? This is what you wanted “ you couldn’t give her an answer, your brain was mush. Your legs were shaking. You weren’t entirely sure how much longer you could keep yourself upright. She pulled you back down, brain fuzzy as she fucked your practically abused hole with her tongue. Her fingers still digging into your hips to urge you to move, rocking you lightly against her face.

She lapped at you like she was starved. Humming her appreciation against you, making you gasp and groan at the vibrations it sent through you.

You didn’t ask for her permission to come. Didn’t have the energy. It hit you as blindingly hard as the others, your body shaking and pathetic squealing moans leaving your throat as she held you in place. She didn’t let up in her movements, her tongue still frantic and nose brushing your clit every time you squirmed. She held you there even when you tried to move away, vision blurring as she dragged her tongue over your oversensitive cunt until you were certain you were going to fall.

And at the last moment she let you go, letting you move away as you attempted to catch your breath. You were cautious that you might be slightly crushing her and attempted to stand and move only to give up and slump in a heap on the floor, head lolling back onto the couch.

You felt broken. Completely and utterly ruined. Your bones were liquid, muscles as useful as a newborn baby’s. A smile crept its way onto your face though. You had gotten exactly what you’d wanted. You heard Tess moving around behind you before her hands grabbed at you, tugging at you so you were cradled in her arms as she sat next to you on the floor.

“ you did so well “ she cooed “ I’m impressed “ you nudged your face against her neck and smiled again, she smelt like sweat and the pine soap from the store in town. It was soothing.

“ was i worth the waiting? “ you whispered, your cockiness returning. It made her chuckle

“ what do you think? “ you wondered how this would change things. You hadn’t exactly thought that far ahead. Would this just be a one time thing? Would she go back to avoiding you now? You didn’t know. But you guessed even if she did, at least you’d had this.

#tess servopoulos x reader #tess servopoulos #the last of us #tlou #Anna torv #Tess servopoulos smut #tlou tess #Ellie Williams #maria miller #she’s in it for like. 10 seconds but she’s there #joel miller is mentioned lmao #smut #x you #x reader

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